Gift-giving in Japan carried much importance. It must be done on the proper occasions and in the proper way. Gifts must be chosen according to protocol, wrapped according to protocol, and given according to protocol. The traditions are ancient and deep and sill honored today. Gift giving is done not only on holidays and special occasions, but it is an integral part of the business culture as well.  The Japanese love " regional" gifts - it is very demadingly proper that when they go on a trip to bring back regional specialties  (bringing back gifts is a required thing). On a par with the choice of an item, where it is purchased ranks in importance as well, and brand names (the higher the popularity the better) are desired.  At gift giving seasons, the large department stores in Japan have entire departments devoted to offering proper gifts for sale as well as gift wrapping services. Year round the "required" types of gifts for weddings, funerals etc are always available.  In addition to proper choice of a gift, how it is wrapped and presented is just as important. Items ppurchased from major department stores get presented in the wrappings and bags of those impressive places. Making small bags or wrappings from fabric is another very "proper" thing...you might want to check out a book call "Omiyage" - making little things from fabric... and there are other books on Japanese gift giving and wrapping....

From Sue H, our "resident" person on things Japanese......

        "So, we're talking about Japanese gift-giving.  Indeed - little decorative (especially hand-made) bags and items will always be a big hit with Japanese - especially women.  Food is also a good gift of choice since it can be consumed ... this is important for small Japanese homes and apartments with so little space.  Omiyage means gift or more specifically, the type of gift one brings back to give to others when one has been away on holiday (vacation), or the gift that one brings when one visits another's home.  Omiyage is also a "return" gift - one which you give to the person who has just given you a gift. Because gift-giving is such a huge thing in Japan, "generic" gifts are quite acceptable.  In nearly all train stations or neighborhoods, there are shops with stacks and stacks of boxes of various regional/local foods for travelers to bring back with them. Due to the "return gift" obligation, we got in the habit of having a "gift closet" where we would buy a variety of (nonperishable) that would be suitable as return gifts, or "emergency" omiyage. Gifting in Japan also has a certain ritual... one does not open the gift in front of the giver.  This allows the receiver to sincerely thank the giver for the gift, irregardless of whether they "like" the gift or not.... they can be "truthful" (save face) because they have not seen what is inside.  Often, because of this, the giver will tell the recipient what the gift is... then, if the recipient does not wish to open it later, they can set it aside (assuming it is not food), and use it as their omiyage to someone else! It is said that if you wait long enough, you will receive the gift back as it gets passed from friend to friend, relative to relative...

    There are two major gift-giving seasons (late spring, late fall) in Japan (think Christmas times 2) where the stores lay out their gift-box displays.  One goes to the store with a list of obligatory addresses in hand, chooses which items to get whom, fills out the order/mailing forms, pays, and the store will take care of the rest.  The item will be properly gift-wrapped, addressed, and sent to your friends, relatives, and business associates.

    We actually had a grand time getting things to bring back with us at these sales.  The gift-boxes are quite elegant - considering they may contain anything from cooking oil, to soy sauce, bars of Lux or other fancy soaps, detergent, smoked salmon, and other assorted sea-foods... all in velvet-lined, wood-enclosed, cushioned elegance.

    And as Ginny mentioned, there are stores where you buy your every-day things, then there are stores where you buy for others... expensive... bargains are NOT the norm... but the NAME says it all.  (sort of like the Lord and Taylor, Saks 5th Avenue... etc.)... you could get it at Wal-mart, but it just wouldn't be the same!     

As I was unwrapping my own temari display for my etagere's, one other thought regarding giving temari crossed my mind, (or any small multi-numbered gift where a Japanese recipient is involved)... if you are planning to give more than one ball, then keep it "odd" - as in 1, 3, 5, 7...  Odd numbers are "lucky" or auspicious. If anyone has ever received a Japanese tea set, or glass-ware set, you probably noticed that you only received 5 cups, or 5 plates. (sometimes if they are packaged in the US, they will add a 6th, or take one out and make it 4). So,  you may give one ball or three balls, etc., but you should avoid giving only two (unless they are in a Hina Doll design (prince and princess), or if one is clearly larger than the other (a "his" and "her's") - (the larger being the guy's the smaller for the girl).  We have received several "his & her's" tea cup sets and chop-stick sets over the years. And, whatever you do, do not give 4 of anything!  One of the Japanese words for 4 is "shi" which means death.  Even the Japanese will try to avoid saying it, and use "yon" instead. (yon is used in a different set of counting numbers)

         "Omiyage"  (pronounced oh-mee-ya-gay) is the term given in Japan to small gifts that one brings when visiting someone, or what one brings back for family and friends from a vacation trip.  Technically, it is an "obligation" gift.  It is always given as a token to hosts for their hospitality.  There is also the return gift that is then given by the host to the guest as a thank-you for the omiyage that was received by the host.

    Are we all confused?  you give me a gift, so then I give you a gift, which can cause you to give a gift back during the winter or summer gift-giving season, so that I can send you back a gift-season gift...  (we used to joke among friends in Tokyo about receiving thank-you cards for the thank-you cards that we sent to our Japanese friends).

    Japan is very much a gift-giving country with gifts given and received for just about everything.  There is the standard joke that if you wait long enough, you will eventually receive back an omiyage that you gave to someone years ago.  This has encouraged many of the current omiyage to be food gifts that must be consumed - also good because of the tight living spaces.  Elegantly velvet boxed soaps, cooking oil or soysauce are quite common.

    Even at a wedding, the guests usually bring money gifts, and in return, besides a small shopping bag loaded with various cookies, rice cakes, and nori (seaweed), the bag often contains a "select-your-own-gift" booklet (obviously this is a more modern variation of what was done in the past) so that the guest can choose what they would like to have as a "return" gift - often the choices include everything from alarm clocks, tea sets, to stunning vases and serving dishes.

    The receiver of an omiyage does not open the gift in front of the giver.  This is a "face saving" measure so they can "honestly" thank the person for the gift, even if it turns out to be something they do not like or want.  It is also common for the giver of the omiyage to tell the recipient what is in the wrapped package so that the recipient can later use it as their own omiyage to someone else without opening the package.

    It is also important for you to remember what a person gave you as an omiyage because you are obligated to verbally thank them again the next time you see them.  I have been amazed over the years how my husband's Aunt would wear, display, or thank us for things we had given them decades ago that I had completely forgotten!

    So ends the lesson in Omiyage!

         
Gift wrapping and presentation is very important as mentioned. Many times a gift will be given in a furoshiki -From Sue H -   (foo-row-shee-kee).  There are many beautiful ones - usually nearly a meter square, and often made of silk, the cotton ones you are describing are usually indigo (like the yukata fabric) with the white sashiko stitching.  Many gaigin (foreigners) buy them to use as a table cover for and end table.  (they make great gifts to bring home as they pack flat and take up nearly no room in a suitcase.  A furoshiki is the Japanese version of a reusable tote bag. In the Tokyo area, there is even a group called "Welcome Furoshiki" - much like the "Welcome Wagon" is in the US.  (Someone calls to let them know you are new in the community, then a (usually) lady will call you to arrange a convenient time to visit you with a basket of sample products and coupons from local merchants who encourage your business.)  Needless to say, the coupons and goodies for Welcome Furoshiki come wrapped in a furoshiki, rather than a basket. Mixing different ethnic or cultural heritage designs is not greatly appreciated other than if it represents your - the giver's - heritage.  It is perfectly OK if your gift or it's wrapping reflects your own heritage, even if this is not the heritage of the receiver of the gift. What about using a stiff grade of paper and creating an origami box?